Today I'd like to write about the nuances of communicating with wearers. I think this will be useful to know for everyone — both those who are already locked with me and those who want to be. After my first 45 days on the site, I can now highlight a few important points:
Dynamics
Everyone has a different dynamic, but I want to point out one fairly common scenario in particular:
Stage 1: Mistress, I'm ready for anything! I'll do whatever you say! Add me more time, and more!
Stage 2: Psychological dips start to appear, but momentum still carries things forward
Stage 3: The wearer periodically gets overwhelmed, irritability appears, sharp reactions to everything
Stage 4: A nervous breakdown and an abrupt break
The variations and timeframes differ for everyone — for some this might take just a couple of days, for others a month or more. I went through this with my hubby, and I go through it every time here. The saddest part is that everyone whose chastity follows this scenario misses the moment they crossed into the second stage. Pay attention to this! First and foremost, you need to recognize your emotions and try to calm them. You need to shift your focus onto something else!
First!
NO PORN! NONE AT ALL! No videos, no photos, no stories, no hypno-trainings. NOTHING!
If my descriptions of my sex life bother you, I can stop sending you those updates.
Understand this: when you consume this kind of content, you're just irritating your nervous system even more. When it's unstable, it needs rest, not extra stimulation!
Second
If general arousal starts building up, here's what can help:
- Take a rag and slowly (!) wash the floor on your knees. This channels your arousal into action, into service.
- Go for a long walk — just go outside and walk. 10,000–15,000 steps. As many as you need.
- Build something — a model kit, glue together miniatures, and so on. This way you focus on something else and the irritation eases off.
Third
If you're doing everything in 1 and 2 and you still feel psychologically unstable — it's better to end this chastity stage. Don't treat this as a personal defeat; it just means you need a break this time. If you've locked yourself, don't wait for a breakdown — just unlock yourself. If you're in my lock, there's no need to desert — just write to me that you've had enough and need to be free.
Use the safeword: RED-Michelle.
And although I have a lot of experience in domination and keyholding, doing this with one steady partner in real life — my husband — is one thing, but doing it online with several different people, with different personalities and desires, is another.
Communication
First and foremost — this is online communication. Yes, I often feel like I can sense a person, but at the end of the day, it's just a chat. I only see what's written to me, and sometimes a photo of the cage or a photo of some activity. I don't see real reactions, facial expressions, psychological state, and so on. And yes, I can miss important signals that would be immediately visible in real life. This especially applies to points 2–3 from the dynamics section. It's precisely the wearers who are in those phases who get offended — that I haven't sent enough greetings, or the system shows I'm online and I'm not responding — offense! Even though they themselves might not log in for several days, and then send an upset message that I didn't respond to their message quickly enough!
Especially for these wearers:
First: I'm a Mistress! I may not say hello, may not say goodbye, I can ignore you — and you simply need to accept that. You're grown men, not delicate children!
Second: I haven't chosen to hide my online presence on the site. I think that's the honest thing to do. But the fact is, when the system shows I'm online, I might be working on my extension — that's the developer side of the site, but it still shows me as online. I might be reading lock descriptions for my own experience. But more often, the site might just be sitting open in the background on one of my monitors.
Third: I have a pretty full life outside of online activity. I have a family, a lover, a job, and a lot more going on. Accept the fact that I may be absent from the site for a while!
Fourth: My communication priority goes to active dialogues with my wearers — those who write and show interest on their own. If you're my wearer and you feel like you're not getting enough attention, just show me more attention more often! I see that as attentiveness, not as you being pushy! After that, in order of priority, come wearers who have been in my lock before, then those who've written at some point, and finally, dialogue requests.
A special category is the "vanishers." These are wearers who start out communicating quite actively, but then simply stop responding. To clear my wearer list of dead souls, I'll have the following rule: if you don't respond for 5 days, I'll simply unlock you!
Lying
A special place is reserved for lying. Honestly, I don't understand the point of it.
Men pretending to be women. As a woman, I'll spot it right away. And more importantly, what's the point? My wearers can be men, women, or even couples. There's no reason for you to pretend to be someone you're not.
Those who don't actually wear the device and only put it on for photos. It's strange — if being locked doesn't give you any pleasure, why even be on this site at all?
Generally, lying serves to hide something you want to keep hidden, and you have every right to do that, but in my case it's pointless — I'm pretty tolerant of everything! So it's better if you're as honest with me as possible.
Around the Cock
I'll put in a separate category the men who are obsessed with their own dick and are constantly looking for somewhere to stick it. Behavior: self-centered. Sometimes they don't write anything at all, just throw their lock at me for approval. And if they do write, the conversation ends up being shaped as if I owe them something. They're just so fucking awesome that I must be dreaming of having such a stud among my wearers, where of course they should be first in line. Well, here's the thing — my interest revolves exclusively around me, and around wearers who are into MY domination! Shove your self-centeredness up your own ass! If you recognized yourself here — please don't write to me!
Findom?
When you visit my page, you see links to my Patreon, Throne, and OnlyFans. Does that mean all my activity boils down to money? No!
I never ask anyone for money, either for chatting or for the lock. First and foremost, I enjoy dominating, teasing, and denying! But if someone wants to do something nice for me, I won't object.
In reality, these accounts were created to fund the development of my IT ideas. It'd be great if I can combine something interesting, pleasant, and useful all at once.
By the way, if you want to try out what findom is, I can help you with that. Unlike paid pro-dommes, this won't cost you any real money — I'll simply teach you to deny yourself unnecessary purchases and set aside what you'd normally blow on little things. The money stays with you. Although, if you suddenly feel like sending it to me instead — I won't object to that either.
The Helper System
Since I work in IT, I built myself a small system that helps me manage your locks. With one button, I can add a set amount of time for everyone, send a short message in DMs, and publish a post. But that's the only thing that goes out to everyone the same way, at the same time. Everything else is personal — I write it myself, by hand, to each of you individually. I think it's only fair to tell you this straight, rather than pretend I don't use any automation at all.
Looking forward to your feedback in DMs on Chaster!